Weekend To-Do List

It is going to be a dark and stormy weekend in San Francisco, leaving me with more free time than usual. The Child is at her dad’s and The Man will be working all day on Saturday, so I think I’m gonna do some stuff.

1. Spend some extra time at the barn and take a ride or two in the rain.
2. Super clean the kitchen and do a little decorating in there.
3. Super clean the bedroom and do a little decorating in there.
4. Work out until I fall down – watching my heart rate skyrocket on my shiny new heart rate monitor.
5. Grocery shopping and cook ahead for the week.
6. Church on Sunday.
7. Go to a thrift store.
8. Attempt a fantastical artistical project using the big box of fabulousness mailed to me a year ago from Arkansas. Yes… I do believe the time has come.
9. Oh…. and I feel the need to plant some things and add some living green things to our home.

Happy Weekend everyone! May you all be well, safe, happy and healthy.

The more things change…

… the more things stay the same.

I will unofficially, tentatively and full of disclaimers say that I now like to exercise. I seem to have pushed past that nebulous point where it may be hard but it is no longer torturous. The last three days has seen me push harder and longer each day. I’m sore in different places but I keep in the forefront of my mind that I will be working out tonight.

Fantastic!

But just as I am conquering one nemesis I am running to the familiar comfort of my BFF.

Food.

While I am so excited to be eating vegan again – I even went and stocked up on some long forgotten favorites yesterday – I am losing whatever tenuous control I had over the hows, whens and whys of our relationship.

I am feeling insecure.

I don’t feel like myself.

Things I need to do have remain undone.

I get mad too easily.

I forgive to slowly.

I am having difficulty giving a fuck.

I’m tired.

I don’t think I even want to have fun.

I feel blue.

So I eat. A lot.

I ate my packed sandwich at 9:30a and I was ravenous again at 11:30a. I thought some fresh air would do me good so I walked. I walked through Chinatown and felt like a stranger in a strange world. Everyone (it seemed) was smoking. Everyone was moving so quickly and talking so fast. Tourists clumsily impeded the frantic flow on the sidewalks. Old men played mahjongg.

This building, meant to be ornate and decorative, was in sad disrepair with peeling paint and tattered signs. Looking like it once was something of beauty, it is now relegated to hawking cheap goods for bargain hunting visitors.

I’m feeling a bit like I too have potential but have allowed myself to fall into disrepair.

So I ate. A lot.

I feel like the things that are close to me are foreign, and the familiar is far away.

Tonight I will put my whole self, again, into the unfamiliar and will push myself harder than I did last night… and hopefully by some divine guidance I’ll find myself . Perhaps this pursuit of change has caused me to ignore the good things I like to do, and that bitch food has stepped up to fill the void of the comforting and familiar.

 

Music to my ears

Last night The Child made her symphonic debut as a bassist. She did play the violin  for 3 years so this wasn’t her first performance and strings are not new to her.

I have to admit that the bass is totally badass. It’s a monster of an instrument that towers above her even though she’s already hit the 5’3″ mark.

I am so proud… she killed her performance! We sat close to her and could hear that she was the only strong one – whether wielding a bow or plucking the deep, resonating strings.

It was awesome.

Bet your school didn’t have a safe space like that!

I <3 San Francisco!

 

Big City* love

* Yes, we all know that San Francisco is not a big city in a literal sense but don’t harsh my buzz, kthx?

Last night The Family went out for an unusual treat. We went out for pizza and we ate it in the restaurant. There is something homey and old fashioned about eating pizza in a pizzeria since pizza in the city has become a delivery-only phenomena. We are very lucky to live in a formerly Italian neighborhood that has a number of forgotten restaurant gems (one of which is where we’re holding our wedding reception!)

This morning The Man made his Thursday morning breakfast for The Child, egg-in-a-hole, since we won’t see her again until Saturday when we have Thanksgiving at my brother’s. I find that routine of theirs to be so adorable, it really warms my heart. After The Child and I BARTed downtown I treated her to an eggnog latte (hers was decaf) and waited with her for her bus to school. Mmmmmm… our first taste of the holidays!

Standing there it felt like New York for a minute. It’s been really cold the last week even though we’ve had rain. Everyone was bundled up in their warm winter coats, some with hats and scarves.

It was one of those minutes where you breathe in the cold clean air while you’re surrounded by urban hustle and bustle – and you feel so happy to be in the “big city”. We don’t really get seasons here in San Francisco being that temps really only range from 45 to 75. In fact, our season are quite backwards:  our winters are warmer than everyone else and our summers are colder.

I’ve never lived where there are four distinct seasons. I think I would like it very much. I think I would like to unpack my winter clothes when fall approaches and revel in the season’s first snowfall. I think I would like to pack away those coats and hats and scarves and mittens in the summer and wear nothing but summer dresses and watch things grow like crazy. I think I would very much like to feel the first crisp morning of the year and see the leaves changing color. I think I would like to see the snow melt and see green pushing through.

But today I couldn’t be happier to be living right here. Thanksgiving is in two days and we will have a house full of our friends who we call family. It will be cold outside but our house will be filled with much love and warmth. The Christmas decorations are going up around town and I can’t wait to get decorating in our house.

Life is good in the Big City. Yes, indeed, it is.

Wet and wild and wooly weekend

Just as planned I braved the elements Friday after work and went shopping.

I managed to get myself in to 9 different stores (4 of them in a…. a…. a…. MALL!).

If something didn’t fit, I tore it off immediately and did not allow myself to wallow in self pity. The brief glimpses I caught of myself in my underwear in the dressing room mirrors were not obsessed over. I didn’t allow myself to stop and think at all. Either it fit and was cute, or it didn’t and it was tossed aside immediately. I was a shopping machine.

Three hours later I could no longer navigate crowded stores easily because I was lugging too many bags in a heavy overcoat while also carrying my regular large tote and a huge umbrella.

My haul included 3 dresses (one of them Calvin Klein), a pair of Liz Claiborne slacks, a pencil skirt that claims to smooth the tummy, a bright green cardigan (my new favorite piece of clothing), a pair of cargo pants, a pair of wide leg trouser jeans that can also be worn to the office, 2 long sleeve t-shirts, a pair of heels and 2 pairs of flats. Oh, and the most awesome military-style overcoat – ever.

For $240.00

The Child was home this weekend so we spent a stormy two days snuggled on the couch watching movies.

(dual lightning strike on the Bay Bridge! click pic for link to original)

Saturday night Cousin Rachel came up and we all went to one of The Man’s friend’s house to watch the UFC fights. That was fun but mostly I’m super grateful for the conversation we had over a couple glasses of wine. She made me think about some things – and more of what she said has sunk in long after our conversation.

THANKS RAE! I love you and am so glad we are close!

I was even SUCH a good girl and cooked a super veggie lunch yesterday AND made my lunches for the next two days.

Super veggie bowls with brown rice, black and kidney beans, broccoli, carrots and a bit of cheese – with home-made yellow pepper and tomato salsa. Mmmmmm.

Of course I forgot my beautiful bowls in the fridge this morning and now my tummy is rumbling at the thought of their deliciousness.

Question:  why is it when children make an honest attempt at being helpful it often fails so miserably?

Even though we were out of dishwasher detergent, The Child really wanted to run the dishwasher. Uggghhhhh. But I was very proud of myself: I didn’t get mad. In all honesty, I did the exact same thing once when I was a kid and Sandi didn’t get mad. It was an honest mistake and she had the best of intentions. (It did help that she immediately started crying as soon as she saw the mess! Poor thing!)

Yeah, that took a half an hour to clean up and now we’re afraid to run the dishwasher lest the bubbles come back to life.

How Emily got her sparklies back

A little at a time, bit by bit, shiny things are making their way back in to my life.

Getting all my worldly possessions back under one roof again sure helped.  Unpacking has been slow but steady and little corners of the house are getting “settled”.

I am happy to report that one of my most prized possessions has taken a prominent place in our home again – my UmberDove triptychs. And, fittingly, they are flanked with shiny things!

Yes, I do kind of like the sconces, but hate the gold tone and they seem to take a non-standard chandelier bulb (I’ve tried 2 sizes so far and no dice.)  I don’t think they are long for this world…

Last night The Man, The Child and I ate dinner at a reception venue that we thought could be a strong contender. We definitely want a real Chicago Italian-style affair and their food was fantastic! With much anticipation we were led up to the largest banquet room and when they hit the lights… well… The Child and I kind of lost our shit minds!

SPARKLY!!! And do you see it?… A DISCO BALL!

*swoon*

This is the view we’ll see when we look down on our guests before the big entrance…

Could it be any more perfect? No, I think not!

Is that what I think it is??

And of course I must have missed the memo that the sun would be making a rare appearance, because I put on boots and tights this morning. Thank goodness for the spare pumps I had under my desk… pity that I didn’t shave my legs

An unusually pleasant Thursday

This morning The Child performed with her fellow Taiko All-Stars at an art and music festival in Golden Gate Park. It was the requisite dog-n-pony show that the schools put on to convince people that the arts deserve funding. (How sad.)

Denise, our dear friend from the barn, came to watch and after the Taiko performance we decided to do something entirely different… we had tea in the Japanese Tea Garden.

We talked horses for the better part of an hour, until Baby Alejandra got a little fussy/tired of being strapped in the stroller/ready for a nap (usually she’s about the most smiling-est, good-natured baby around!).

Then I did something else unusual. I didn’t run back to the car and high-tail it out of there. I took a wooded path and looked up at the trees. It’s remarkable how far away from The City you can feel while still totally surrounded by it. And it’s also remarkable how I didn’t hesitate for one moment to slip out of sight of the other people. Home is where you feel safe.

At the end of the path, across the road, lay the rose garden. Spring blooms perfumed the air and I was drawn in.

Everything was just so pretty and serene and perfect. I’m not always good at noticing the beauty around me while careening around from one thing to another.

But today …. yes… I did stop to smell the roses.

Boomerangs

There is something about The City that keeps pulling me back. Perhaps this is where I belong, or more likely where I was, was not.

For the immediate future The Child and I are nestled snugly in the loving embrace of Pacific Heights. It has been not only a return home but a return to sanity, to a time-tested (and mother approved!) support network, to prospects, and to positivity.

Sometimes you make decisions without having all the information. Sometimes it works out, and other times you find it was a mistake. Righting the wrong can be painful and leave you scarred, but sometimes it’s necessary. The reward for endurance can be a thousandfold the price. You can’t remain in a void and progress.

So I chose life. I chose a future, which is turning out to be more than I ever would imagined.

I have friends…

Fiona has friends…

And I have love… lots of it.

Our 15 minutes of fame

Part 1

Part 2

Thank you Rae for the interim cell phone recording!  I WILL be ordering a copy from the news station

More pics from yesterday

Check out all the pics on Flickr!

The dawning of a new (yester)day

Sorry this post is a day late and a dollar short cashing in on the Inaugural hoopla, but like I said, I was only firing on two cylinders maybe.

We arrived at Civic Center Plaza before 7a to watch the simulcast.  I thought it was important to be part of “something” for the occasion since Haley was involved in the campaign.  Even if she didn’t have fun there when her children were reading about January 20th, 2009, she could say she was there, she was part of it all.

There weren’t many people when we got there but Haley immediately noticed the news crew to our left.  Within no time the news lady from KRON Channel 4 approached us and asked if she could ask us some questions.  Of course, once she found out Haley had made Get Out The Vote calls she asked if she could ask us the same questions on a live segment.  Ten minutes later we were on the news!  I thought Haley was going to explode she was so excited!  As soon as it was over my cell started ringing – Rae Rae saw us!  There she was – all innocent, getting ready for work – when BLAM!  there we are on TV!  Apparently they replayed the clip on the 5 o’clock news because Haley’s friend, Mary, called all screaming and freaking out

 

Someone made this really cool origami image of Obama and handed out Sharpie markers for people to leave their thoughts.  Of course Haley had to jump right in and leave her mark!

The crowd soon swelled to the thousands and we all cheered together.  Haley was swamped by all the tall people surrounding her but the spirit of Hope and Change prevailed:  some kindly strangers pushed her up to the front so she could see.  We were separated for the swearings-in of Biden and Obama but my super-sweet baby girl immediately squirmed her way back to me to listen to Obama’s speech.  We stood there in a crowd of people who were truly “all the colors of the rainbow”, embracing, cheering together, and many sharing a tear together – full of pride, hope and enthusiasm for the hard work this country has yet to do.

So after listening to Obama’s speech tell me what is it that you plan to do for your country?

(I promise to get some snippet of the newscast!! Please hold!)

Dain Bread

Yes!  We were right in the middle of Inaugural festivities bright and early this morning!  Yes!  We have great pictures!  Yes!  Something awesome happened (hint:  HALEY WAS ON TV!!)

But…

My sleep has been non-existent and my brain is like swiss cheese.  So bear with me until tomorrow and I promise to have something worthwhile to waste your time reading

On thin ice

 Today I got all the other kids in our office “family” to come in to work.  It turned in to an unofficial holiday outing – we had a blast!  Between me and two guys in my office we have 5 kids aged 8 to 11 and they all get along famously.

After skating my boss gave me a nice little gift…  “working from home” for the rest of the year (Of course there’s nothing I can do from home!)

Holiday photo expedition

Tonight The Child and I bundled up and headed downtown with cameras in-hand.  The lights this year are over the top and it was a fun cheap date on a Friday night. 

Whipper Snapper

Red lights

Skaters

Union Square

The view from my weekend office

Oh.

My.

God.

Today the weather was just…. UN-F*ING-BELIEVABLE.  Seriously.  I just spent 4 hours outside and it feels like how July must feel in places that have sunny summers I’m wearing a tanktop, jeans and Blundstones and feel like I’m going to keel over from the heat.

I taught two superfun lessons and had this lovely view to gawk at whilst standing in the arena.  I thought I’d be nice and rub it in share.  Yes, that is the Pacific Ocean. 

Before you resent me too much it’s usually fog to the ground with gale force winds while I’m trying to shriek at my students… but not today.  Today was divine.

Victory Garden

A girl can dream, right?

 

So I’m thinking that Sunday I’d like to take advantage of this outrageous weather we’re having (high 70′s!) and work in the garden.  I saw this article on HuffPo and it renewed my interest in my relationship with my food. 

In summers past we have grown grape tomatoes in the back yard and I found it immensely satisfying to be able to add something to my table by stepping out my back door.  I can’t wait until I have a large amount of land to work with and truly eat seasonally, and largely cultivated with my own dirty hands.  Summer in my neighborhood is mostly socked in with fog (duh) and now I’m on the brink of winter – which is not the time to be growing things.

My mom keeps an insane garden, but that’s one of the benefits of living in the desert – the ability to grow almost year-round.  I do plan on putting in mostly grasses, ground cover and maybe something bushy that flowers – but is there any food stuff I can put in the ground at this late date?

OMG! Action! In my neighborhood!!

I can assure you the venue was purely coincidental, and is certainly not indicative of some hidden Sunset seedy underbelly.  The crime blotter for our district is full of rice rockets with stolen rims and stereos.  Most drama is confined to the subject of tourists and Bridge-n-Tunnel people getting acquainted with the undertow at Ocean Beach.

Man shot to death in car in S.F.’s Sunset District

Steve Rubenstein, Henry K. Lee, Chronicle Staff Writers

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

(10-14) 10:09 PDT SAN FRANCISCO — A man was shot and killed in a car in San Francisco’s Sunset District, police said today.

The victim, whose name was not immediately released, was found with numerous gunshot wounds in a car at the southeast corner of 17th Avenue and Noriega Street at about 11 p.m. Monday, police said. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

No arrests have been reported in the killing, the 88th homicide in San Francisco this year. The circumstances that led to the shooting are under investigation.

The block where the killing happened is a typical Sunset District neighborhood – mainly two-story, single-family homes that are attached. None of the residents interviewed today said they knew who the shooting victim was.

The woman who lives in the house by where the victim’s car was found said she had heard several “pops” that she first thought was the sound of “a car sputtering up the hill.”

“This neighborhood is a very safe neighborhood. I never worry about walking late at night, but maybe I should,” said the woman, who asked not to be identified by name.

Devin Chisholm, who lives down the street from where the man was slain, said he had heard four shots but hadn’t immediately looked outside because “I thought it was a neighbor setting off fireworks.”When he looked out the window, he saw eight police cars on the street and officers picking through garbage cans and shrubs, apparently looking for a gun.

New Category: “Only in San Francisco”

This is a view you might find riding MUNI on a Sunday afternoon… if that Sunday happens to be the Folsom Street Fair.