My petition to ban two words from the English language

January 23, 2009

There are two words that raise the hackles on my neck every time I hear them, and I would be exceedingly happy if they were just stricken from our language.  Every time I hear them I either throw up in my mouth a little, or want to punch someone in the face.  Often both.  Simultaneously. 

1.  Goddess

Unless we’re talking about religion or salad dressing (Annie’s Goddess – the best dressing ever – or green goddess – which I don’t  care for but to each his own) the word “goddess” should never be used.  If you hear it in reference to a mortal woman it has come from one of two places:  a dickless worm of a man, or an overbearing woman who doesn’t shave her armpits. 

Women and men are equals.  I cut quite the controversial figure because I believe in gender roles, but it is a matter of separate but equal.  There should be mutual respect, affection, and admiration.  Referring to a woman as a goddess implies that she should be exalted, as if she is better.  I don’t know any men who could get away with referring to themselves as a god.

2.  Pamper

Again, a term most often used by the dickless contingency.  Pampers are diapers.  Treat, spoil, luxuriate … but enough already with the reference to potty pants.  Feeling like one is about to be bestowed with a poopy diaper is a long way from feeling like a princess.




  1. May I add one? The word awesome. ICK. I rarely hear it used as it should. It has become such a casual word covering just about anything, regardless if it is actually AWESOME or not. Thank you.

  2. I’m sorry, Mom, but I think the word “awesome” is just awesome. It may be the most awesomest word in the world!

    Know what’s almost as awesome as “awesome”? The name “Dot”. It would be totally awesome to call you Dot all the time.

    Awesome? Awesome!

    xoxo – your loving (disinherited) daughter 😀

  3. Ya got the disinherited part right anyway.

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