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Submitting to retail therapy – against my will

November 19, 2010

Shopping, oh how I hate thee! Let me count the ways!

I am sitting here in a completely empty office in the dark save for the one light in my cube. The only sound is the soft whirrrrr of my computer fan and the HVAC. It is very calm and peaceful and I kind of wish it were like this all the time.

To add to my morning zen I actually put 2 minutes of thought in to my outfit. I am accessorized. I’m having a good hair day. I even managed to put on perfume! (Yes, Rae, the French whore perfume)

And, thanks to The Man who insisted, I have $300 cash waiting patiently in my wallet for a shopping trip this afternoon.

Cue anxiety attack!

Seriously. My stomach is in knots at just the thought of stepping foot in stores and – even worse – trying on clothes.

But as I admitted to The Man as he was delivering me to the front door of my office, I’ll never improve my self image if I’m always feeling like I am wearing sausage casings.

My wardrobe has become incredibly limited and I have stubbornly refused to buy fat clothes. I am cheap and I don’t want to admit I’m not a size 6… 8…. or 10 *ACK!!!* any more.  It’s hard to get out from under the wet blanket of self-loathing when there’s nothing you can put on to make you feel good about yourself.

So I am going to do that thing that I hate most in life… I am going to shop. My strategy is this:  a few multi-use pieces, mostly in black, with lots of colorful accessories. Hopefully I’ll soon be able to ditch the fat clothes and I’ll still have a lot of cute accessories. Then I will go home and purge my closet of all but a few things that don’t fit. No more reminders of what size I was.

Wish me luck.

Oh… on a happy note here is another smidgeon of  progress on the home front.

You may remember this picture from the first day we were in our house. We took a LOT of crap on Facebook for our sexy TV stand (and blow up mattress and cardboard dining table) even though our real furniture wouldn’t arrive for a few more days.

Confession:  that was still our TV stand until last weekend. Actually it was another tote higher! HAHA

That’s fixed now with a much more practical solution…

p.s. I got another 10 straws done last night! At this rate I may have a lamp shade before the world ends in December of 2012!

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3 comments

  1. Ok, let’s recap… the girl I saw in July was not fat… and the pics I’m seeing now… still not fat… but I’ll indulge you, because that’s was we do for our loved ones until you need a gentle nudge in the “what the f#@% are you talking about” direction… and please note, we are dangerously close to that off ramp beautiful, so get ready 
    Anyway… here are some things so you can do to feel as beautiful as you look…
    Winter = layers… Skinny jeans with junky boots, some fitted tops that accentuate your positives and flow right over your “lets not think about that until Jan 1” stuff. Bright scarves are a great idea and don’t forget the shoes… also some skirts that are sleek and stylish and elongate your frame. Short skirts will chop you up in to pieces and that widens the frame. I see you in a great black bib-dress that goes all the way to the ankle, sleek lines with a short sleeve white top popping out.
    In my head, you are runway ready…


    • Dani… could I love you any more or be laughing any harder?? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! In all your free time you should grace us with your own blog – perhaps something about shopping, fashion or living in the boondocks? hehe


  2. Have FUN honey and breeeathe…Try to enjoy and take your time. Shopping is meant to be therapeutic, not a mind f**k.



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