The numbers and the disconnect

Number of miles I have run in the month of May:  31.92

Number of miles I have run since I began running:  43.37 (5 weeks)

Number of days I have been religiously logging my calories and exercise:  76

Number of pounds lost:  22

I have been feeling so good and fit and healthy – really for the first time in my life.  It’s not that I’ve never been thin or in decent shape – I have been way too skinny at times and have had a six-pack and serious guns – I just never worked at it before.  I work out regularly and I crave exercise now.  I have had to buy new smaller pants and my wedding dress is having to be altered down by a HUGE amount.

I’ve been pretty proud of myself.

Then I saw a picture of myself yesterday… and it’s amazing how fast all of the above numbers can be wiped out.  No amount of numbers offsets the lumps and bumps and dumpiness I see in my “skinny” jeans. 

I guess that the upside is that I actually contemplated calling in sick to work so I could exercise all day, instead of feeling like saying, “fuck it – I’m eating.